Posted by4 years ago
You will become paralyzed during social interactions, which will lead to an infinitesimal loop: your anxiety makes it hard to socialize with others, which in turn.
Archived
![Virgin Virgin](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bue8F6Z9ba4/UnXfPK1CUSI/AAAAAAAATuI/DxD_ejdeOZY/s1600/3711152.jpg)
This is a serious post - It is causing me severe chronic depression, near-anxiety attacks when I get a girl in my bedroom or i'm talking to a girl at a bar and sex seems imminent. I can't tell you how many times I've purposefully shot myself in the foot to avoid sex - when it was right in front of me in a silver platter. Then I get drunk and cry myself to sleep. I've had suicidal thoughts, but nothing serious - just worse case scenario type stuff.
I'm 28. All my life - since adolescne I've been lying prone and rubbing my junk down there against whatever - usually the couch, pillows, the floor, mattress. Pretty much daily, sometimes 2x. Can get myself off in a few minutes without even any porn. That's how I discovered it, naturaly. Didnt know bout the hand technique till years later. By that time, I tried the hand a few times - no luck. Every couple of years for the past 15 years I've tried the hand... get frustrated, and give up and get it done in 2 min my prone humping way.
2 and a half years ago when I was 26, I bit the bullet (alcohol helped), and went for it... but lo and behold I couldn't get it up. At All. Girl was nice and we went out again - got an erection but couldn't keep it up by the time condom went on. The in-out stroking movement was just world apart from what I was used to. 3rd time - I get some Yohimbe and Levitra from my doc, and also because I'm bit more comfortable with the girl, I get and hold an erection. This is my first time ever 'in' so i still didn't know proper movements or how to be 'good in bed'. Either way it was 10 minutes, but I was no close to orgasm. After 10 minutes, I was bored and it just felt tedious and mechanical, I and I pretended I was close to cumming. Next few times with this girl, same shit happened or I couldn't get it up again. We broke up for other reasons eventually.
Girls #3 - I'm a little better in foreplay this time - I get a slight or decent erection. But it fades by the time condom went on. Or I insert, then flat it goes.
Girl #4 - By this time my performance anxiety in full swing. Making out and fondling with a girl in my bed, I am so worried i wouldn't be able to sustain an erection - let alone feel any pleasure doing traditional intercourse or get an orgasm - that I was soft the entire time and lied about not having any condoms + being sleepy/drunk.
5th girl - similar. shoot myself in foot same reason
Now for the past year I've been single, miserable, and depressed. What was an upswing in my confidence and other areas of life and finally losing my virginity(does it count if you didn't cum?)... did more to bring my worries to full blown. Way worse than 24-25 year old me virgin. Two of the girls tried to give me blow and handjobs... lol that made my dick even more limp and they started almost crying. If even I can't do it with my own hands, how can they?!
The thoughts consume me everyday. single. day. Will I be able to overcome my anxiety and get an erection? Will I be able to sustain it? Will I be able to do intercourse and enjoy it enough to not loose it? Will I ever be able to Orgasm the traditional way.... or am I forever a single mattress fucker?
i need serious help. How do I overcome this? Is it even possible at this late and after so many years... to just suddenly switch techniques? I have no idea who to talk to? Emberassed as fuck to talk to any friends about this. My psychiatrist just prescribed me said Levitra. Please help.
3 comments
•7 months ago
Archived
![Performance Anxiety Virgin Performance Anxiety Virgin](https://www.biography.com/.image/t_share/MTY0NzExNDA3MTIyNjU0Nzcx/madonna-performing-on-the-1984-mtv-video-music-awards-at-radio-city-music-hall-in-new-york-city-september-14-1984-photo-by-frank-micelotta_getty-images.jpg)
I’m writing this from a throwaway account, for obvious reasons haha. Anyway, my situation:
I’m 19M, freshman in college, and everyone tells me that I’m above average looking. Throughout high school I played football and always had a decent amount of friends. However, I couldn’t talk to females worth a fuck, just stuttering, awkward, and all around lost. Females would express clear interest in me and it’d just go right over my head because I was such an awkward fucker. As a result of this, I never had a girlfriend, didn’t go to a single high school dance, never had my first kiss, and was obviously still a virgin. I was also probably the most insecure person in the world.
Then, my personality changed when I got to college. I just kinda stopped caring about how people saw me and more importantly, I slowly learned how to talk to females without being a total mess. Anyway, fast forward to now: I’ve been dating the love of my life for two months, and everything between us is great, other than my crippling sexual performance anxiety.
With my newfound ability to flirt with women combined with my above average looks (I don’t mean to sound like a douche, it’s just what people tell me lol), my girlfriend assumes that I have a decent amount of experience in bed. However, I don’t have ANY and it’s giving me awful performance anxiety. Every time we attempt to have sex, I just think about the possibility of me nutting immediately, or the possibility that I’ll be terrible, and I just get soft before penetration. This has happened on like 10 occasions, and the past 3 have damn near been mental breakdowns. We’re very open with each other and luckily my girl said she’s willing to wait as long as it takes. However, it’s still crippling me as a human being.
As far as oral goes I’m surprisingly good, especially considering my lack of practice, and she loves it. I’m glad that I can still give her something for now, but I’m not gonna lie to myself and say that’s enough. I’ve also really been considering some off-brand Cialis (just for the first time) but I’m aware of all the risks that could bring, like I’m really not tryna rely on dick pills right off the bat, ya know?
What can I do to get over this hump? Anyone have any similar stories? Do I just go for the dick pills route for the first time?
TL;DR - I’m an outgoing and decent looking freshman in college so my new GF assumes I’m not a virgin. Unfortunately I am b/c I spent high school years as an awkward fuck. Giving me terrible performance anxiety because I don’t wanna be awful in bed or nut immediately. Performance anxiety is making me lose my mind.
3upvotes•19comments